Thank a Stylist


People are such interesting beings, each with their own personality, the way they act around others and in different situations that they are placed within. People react completely different to each other as well, which makes them even more complex beings. I enjoy being around people, I really do but there are times that people really do bug me. There have been plenty of times that I wish that I could actually be by myself without the aid of another around me. Don’t get what I mean. I will admit, I do get social anxiety and being around people does stress me out at times. Some people, especially those who seem to be more vibrant in personality, tend to tire me out. I am not exactly an introvert, but I am not exactly an extrovert either. Perhaps, we should start calling me an ambivert, since I seem to have the best of both worlds and seem comfortably stuck in the middle.

Now why am I bringing this up? I am a hairstylist and there are times that people do frustrate me and having Bipolar, it happens more than often. When a person does not explain themselves to the best of their abilities and are lacking in their terms of describing a haircut, I can get very easily frustrated, especially when I ask you a question and you agree to it when you really meant no (yes, this happened to me today). I would rather had some sort of honesty than being lied to my face. It makes me a very unhappy camper and makes you look like a complete idiot to me. And please, don’t act like I don’t know how to cut your hair. I am not stupid as much as you might think that I am. If you explain yourself correctly to me and let me do my job, I promise you, you will get the cut you are looking for.

As you all can tell, I have become rather frustrated with this to the point that I was nearly crying on the floor because of it. I pride myself on a lot of my men’s cuts and to have a guy tell me that I did not know how to cut his hair caused a lot of pain to him. Especially when I have men who return to me to get their hair done. Doing hair is my pride and my passion and by having someone telling you, who doesn’t know how to cut hair mind you, that you “cut their hair wrong” is a kick in the gut. It hurts the pride and effort that all stylist put into working with hair.

A lot of men and women who work in hair do not do it for the money, for there is hardly any money to be made in hair. They do it for the passion that they have for it. A lot of them do it for the people in the industry as well as the customers that they met. They do it for the love of hair and all things beautiful. A lot of these men and women do it to see your smiling faces after you see the finished look, to see the happiness on your face after your see the finished product. So please, do me a favor. After you are finished sitting in the salon chair, getting your cut, color, wax, etc., thank a stylist. They work long hours on their feet just to see your smile.

Just smile more..


According to most, we all have a choice, we have a choice to be happy. If we choose to be happy, then we will be happy and if we do not, then chances are, we will be depressed. At least, that is what I hear every day from the people around me. Happiness is a choice and we all can make that choice.

Hold on a second. If happiness is a choice, then why am I not happy?

I will say that I lived a somewhat normal life. Although I was teased by some of the kids in school, I had a good amount of friends throughout the years. My parents loved me and I had a sister who would do anything for me. I was a happy and very healthy child who rarely had any problems with stress at all – at least from my knowledge. All that changed in Middle School, when my moods seemed to appear out of nowhere and the depression had kicked in. Of course, I rarely talked about it and faked my happiness throughout the years. Was it healthy, no but it got me through life. After all, it was the survival of the fittest. The weak would be picked on by the strong and that was something that I could not afford at all. It was also during this time that my excessive skin picking occurred, something that still continues to this day. As to the cause of my problems, one could easily blame one boy – oh I remember his name so well – who I had a crush on. Unfortunately, he did not feel the same for me. I was too plain for him, not pretty enough compared to most of the girls in Middle School. It was the first time in my life that I was told that I needed to wear more makeup because I was not “pretty enough”. Just imagine the emotional toll it took on me, the confidence it destroyed. I will admit, to this day I still do not see myself as pretty all because of the events in Middle School. I find it hard to.

In High School, I have very few friends and in college, I had harder any at all. I limited myself, preferring to stick to myself than to have myself be hurt by anyone else. Yet throughout my time with the people I have hung out with, I have expressed that I was not feeling the greatest due to my depression (which I would later find out would be part of bipolar). I would always get the same response that I would always get. I was too pretty to worry about such a thing and I needed to smile more.  To smile more. Yes, I needed to smile more. Why was everyone so obsessed with smiling more? What was up with people wanting me to be happy, thinking it would actually cause me to be happy in return? Did they not understand how things worked?

For those who never had a mental illness, let me explain something clearly to you, something that I hope that you will understand quite clearly. Mental illnesses are real illnesses and not figments of our imagination. We are not imagining them so please, believe us when we say we are suffering. Also, we simply cannot just become happy at a flip of a switch. That is not the way that our brain work. A lot of the illnesses have to deal with a chemical imbalance within our brain, making it nearly impossibly for us to just be happy in an instance. Sometimes, it take therapy and medicine in order to help us balance ourselves out. Oh and about the medicine, we are not weak for taking medicine so please, do not judge us for it. We are strong for admitting that we need some help, strong for admitting that yes, there is something that is wrong with us. There is nothing wrong with that. The last thing I wish for you to do is please, be supportive of us. Although we consider ourselves as a strong bunch of people, we still need support from others. After all, we are still only human, just like the rest of you.

Psychosis – what is it like?


Psychosis. It is a word which strikes fear into many hearts, a word that many people do not really understand. It is often the stuff of our nightmares and often times, brings out many misunderstandings. In general, when a person is suffer from psychosis, they suffer in silence, in fear that they may crazy or mad. But what is psychosis and who is affected?

Psychosis, according to Oxford dictionaries is as followed: “a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality”. Within these impairments, you have two types. Hallucinations is the first type and involves your senses. This could be seeing something that isn’t there, hearing someone who isn’t even around, even going as far as smelling something. If it has to do with your senses, it will fit into hallucinations. As for delusions, these are more so thoughts that a person believes to be true that actually are not. This could be the thought that there is someone out to get them, etc.

There are a few people who would experience psychosis more than others. These people are as followed:

  • Too little sleep
  • some prescription medicine
  • abuse of drugs and alcohol
  • certain mental illness such as bipolar disorder, schizoaffective and schizophrenia.
  • traumatic events
  • Brain injuries

So that is a list of some of the possible ways that a person that suffer from psychosis. But what is a psychosis event like? While trying I myself have dealt with psychosis myself, I have noticed that there have been not many people open about talking about the event itself. Many people explain what psychosis is and then, they end up stopping right there. It really is a shame because of all parts of the a mental illness, this is the most stigmatized and misunderstood of all. Often times, people who suffer from psychosis keeps it to themselves in fear of what others will say about them, in fear of what judgement they might receive. I will admit, I admit, I have only shared my psychosis with my best friends or those who I know suffer from bipolar, due to the fact that I know that they won’t judge me. Even my own sister, who I am extremely close with, doesn’t know about these damaging nightmares that I deal with at times. Perhaps there is that fear that I don’t want her to worry about me, for fear for what I have to deal with or maybe, there is that slight fear that my own family will see me more for the Black Sheep that I already am.

There are the reasons why some of the people do not tell people who they are close to about psychosis and how it affects them. They are afraid of the judgement that they may receive from those who they love. It is a shame that they feel this way, considering that it is those who may be the ones who might be more than willing to help them.

As for the psychosis that I deal with, I deal with mainly hallucinations, which tend to be rather confusing for me. Most of the time, they happen during the night when I least expect them to. Sometimes, I see shadows darting past or something moving in the corner of the room and when I go to investigate, there is nothing there. There are also times in which I see large ball of light dart at me, which plenty of times I have to dodge because I am afraid of it hitting me. It is strange but it is something that that I have grown to known. The worse for me tends to be the voices. For me, it sounds like you are in a restaurant, where the voices are muted and muffled but you can still hear them quite clearly. These voices often keep me up at night, preventing me from sleeping. The reason why is because I am always concentrating on them, trying to figure out what they are actually saying. My mind always seems to be racing during this time, making it so difficult for me. A lot of the times, everything is a blur that it is hard to determine reality from what isn’t there.

It is really hard to actually understand psychosis unless you have actually been there but if you know someone who is going through it, be there for them. Chances are, you may be the only one who might be.

What sets a person off..

I am writing this due to the fact that at my work, I am dealing with something that is setting me off on a daily basis, something that is very simple. First of all, let me explain. Forgive me if I have explained it in my other post but I have Bipolar Disorder and anxiety, as well as a possibly personality disorder. All these put together bring out the best and unfortunately, the worse of me at times. My moods have a tendency to shift rather easily and the littlest things have been know to set me off and/or frustrate me. I hide it well but I will voice my opinion when during the need. Such comes the case to one of my coworkers.

You see, I am a hairstylist and was the first person hired on at the location where I work therefore, everything that was set up, was place in a certain place for a reason. I like everything neat and organized, being put well together in spots where I know where they are. And when new girls come on, I kindly show them the way that things are placed because otherwise, I will be driven mad with trying to find the object and get to the point of pure frustration. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers has yet to understand the way that things are done and seem to move things around so that I might have to search for them. Alright, that is fine but there was one thing I am not fine with.

Her using the brush for cleaning the dishes to be used on hair combs.

Oh yes, you have heard me correctly. She has used the dishes brush to clean the combs with human hair. The brush that I use to clean the silverware with. Imagine how disgusted I was when I found human hair in the bristles and asked my manager if someone was using  it for what it wasn’t intended for.  Clearly, she had no idea as well. So the day that I found out, I wrote on that brush “For Dishes Only” hoping that she would be intelligent enough to understand that someone was really getting irritated by her stupidity. And again, the next day, there was more hair in the bristles of the brush.

To be honest, I really don’t know what to do. I talked to my manager, who said she would get a new brush for the dishes but I feel like the same thing will happen all over again. This stylist has no regards for anyone’s personal health and safety nor does she really seem to care. Yet, what always surprises me is that she is always complaining about how we do not have safety rules and regulations up in the backroom.

Am I the only one who is sensing a hypocrite here?